Lamanye!

i.write.

Rasa mcm dah lama je x menulis kat blog neh. Dah hmpir one week. Four days spend kat perak tanpa wireless x dpt lah nk menulis.
Anyway ingat nk tdo, tp sbb rasa mcm bnyk bnda je bertangguh nk ditulis kat sini, so proceed je lah.

1. Aku discover few blogs today. Interesting sbb kwn2 aku x ramai mana suka menulis.

2. I met my friend hari neh. An old friend indeed. I've known her since 2001, it has been ten years. Berjumpa hari ni pun at my house. Atas desakan beliau y kata bila lagi nk berjumpa sbb balik pun setahun sekali je pulak tuh dah la cuti x sama ngan org lain. Susah nk buat reunion sbb org len sibuk kat uni or keja.

bila dah berjumpe, sembang smpai berjam2. Update keadaan diri dan rakan2. We've come out with a solution. Smua org y kat luar negara, perlu bgtahu/update kat beliau jika pulang bercuti ke tanah air, senang nk diatur pertemuaan katanya. :)
This year alone, we've lost two of our friends. Both are due to accidents, motorcycles. I could still recall, as if somekind of prank people mentioned in their status about these kind of lost. Mcm x percaya, tp tu hakikat. Takut bila fikir balik, sbb you'll never know when your time will come. In a split second, you're gone. And the rest of your life become history and things that once matter to you are no longer that important.

3. Baking cheesecake at 11.30 pm. Ala2 pushing myself to the limit, it was a success after all and no injuries occur. Thank you Allah. :)
The cream cheese price here in malaysia are way too expensive. Rm 11 sumthing for 250 g size cream cheese. The cheesecake I'm baking needs two of those. Patience is virtue >.<. when my sister said that the cream cheese cost is bit over the top, I thought it is still within the range which are affordable. Affordable, to be bought by every citizen. Mom insist on me making chocolate cake but I promised myself to bake a cheesecake, I can hardly change my choice. That is just what I do. I hardly change decisions. That is my strength and also my weakness.

4. I read this one blog today. Part of the storyline equals what I have in my family, my mother's side. Mom used to go to school early in the morning, one hand carrying school bag and the other hand carrying container for food yang nak dijual kat gerai. Mom told us her story though not always. Even granma told her story, at least to me ( because I like to hang out and like to chat - I used to).
Sometimes it breaks my heart when I recall that mom did not further her degree because she needs the money, can't afford to waste more time studying, because her family need the money and they need it now. Berhenti bila hbs diploma spy terus dpt kerja and dpt duit. She's the oldest In the family, that's what she did. It breaks my heart when mom said that relatives (not all, but some) laugh (let alone support) at the idea of 'mom going to university' because they said it's useless and no one would want to marry mom (sbb masa tu sikit je org masuk universiti, prediction ala2 kisah dua darjat.LOL). But mom went to university still.

It breaks my heart even more knowing that, everyday upon coming back home from school all mom ever wanted and praying for along the road is that all the foods that she left that morning are all sold out. Simply because she couldn't bare to bring back the foods back home to grandma. Being able to sell all the foods is a success. These are the kinds of things that I could still recall. I still turn green with envy to the fact that mom never had a boyfriend before being married to my dad, not because of there's no one interested but because mom was way too busy taking care of the family rather than getting involved with that kind of unnecessary stuff. Walla! Owh yeah that is true.

Mom used to say that when she was small (even up till the end of secondary school) she had never dreamt of driving a car like she does now. Because it used to be such an impossible thing long time ago.
I'm not afraid of having big dreams. But I'm afraid that sometimes we have dreams that are too big that we lost our focus on things that should matter to us. I'm afraid of dreams that bring us away from good deeds and such ambitions/Cita2 yang menjauhkan diri dari keredhaan Allah.

5. Despite it all, all praises to Allah. For everything. Alhamdulillah.